inner city pressure

Living in the city can be a emotionally trying experience sometimes. Here are some things I find can make living in a big city difficult:

1. People who refuse to conform to my preconceived notions. Seriously, gay latinos? Weird and kinda gross. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the gays and few people make better tamales than latinos, but the two mixed together pushes the envelope in a way that even my fairly liberal mind just isn't ready for yet.
   
2. Clueless tourists constantly asking for directions and shopping/restaurant recommendations. Get a compass and Fodor's Toronto, I'm not your free tour guide, bitch!
   
3. Parades. Big cities have parades like nobody's business. My route to work has been disrupted by a parade, marathon, charity walk or other nonsense every Sunday since time immemorial.
4. Homeless people cluttering up public spaces with their poverty and whatnot. Hey beardy, if I had spare change sitting around for drugs and alcohol I'd be saving that for the weekend.
   
5. Walking dick first into stuck subway turnstiles.

my thanksgiving menu

should you find yourself at my house on Thanksgiving/ Columbus Day this is what I will probably be serving:

• roast turkey with gravy
• apple stuffing
• mashed potatoes
• cranberry sauce
• autumn vegetables
• red wine
• me drinking too much and saying something inappropriate, embarrassing my guests and ruining my own party
• apple pie

10 ligitmate reasons why barack obama should be the next president of the united states of america

1. black people are cooler than white people. that is just a fact. look it up in your history books.
2. white men can't jump. i know i should focus on obama's strengths and not mccain's weaknesses, but jumping could very well be the single greatest issue facing the american people over the next 4 to 8 years. there is really no way of knowing for sure, so why not err on the side of caution?
3. barack obama is fun to say. say it. see what i mean?
4. john mccain is old. old people smell funny. that is no way to impress world leaders.
5. somebody told me that they read somewhere that if obama is elected we all get a free piece of pie (while supplies last).
6. barack comes before john and obama comes after mccain alphabetically so obama obviously has more knowledge and experience when it comes to the letters of the alphabet.
7. john mccain is basically the definition of both "whitey" and "the man."
8. crackers be tripping
9. the economy. that is a thing too.
10. oprah said so.
    

Some things

Countdown: One week until Jerkwad McGee moves out of my house.

Good news: I saw him in front of a place with an "Apartment for rent" sign writing down a phone number.

Bad News: It was across the street.

Things that weird me out:

-Old ladies with long whiskers

-People with growths on their faces (or anywhere else really)

-People who talk with the bus/streetcar driver like they are old friends, when they clearly are not.

-Text messages from unknown senders.

-Fish

-Tonal languages

Things that piss me off:

-Overseas tourists who pay for things with American dollars. It is bad enough when Americans do it, but when Europeans or Asians do it I become enraged. What is their thought process? "I'm going to Canada, I better bring a different foreign currency than my own, because I don't want the value and convenience of only changing my money once, I want to do it TWICE." If I was going to Spain I wouldn't bring a stack of Rubles with me, would you?

-American tourists who don't understand the concept of currency conversion. The reason taking American dollars from Americans sucks isn't because it is insulting, it is because they don't understand the process at all.

-Getting a cold in the summer.

-The fact that Burger King doesn't sell a single thing that won't give you diarrhea.

Strawberry Season

Jams
Pies
Tarts
Smoothies
Other delicious treats

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind of crazy situations happening all around me. I'm going to Montreal for a weekend to get away from it all.

Also: Fireworks.


Happy belated birthday Tim.