It's been a long year, a looong year. Rolling Stone has called 2005 "The Worst Year Ever." I'm not entirely sure if that is true, but is certainly has been a boring year, for me at least.
Here's a brief, very brief, look back at what has happened (to me, cause that's all I care about)(oh, and it's in no particular order):
Ok, so I wrote out a bit of a list, but I decided that it sucked so I nixed it.
I think I've changed a lot this year. Not necessarily for the worse or for the better, but I think I'm a bit more mature, and a hell of a lot calmer. Last night there was a big party at the pub and everyone was there. I had a horrible time. The whole night I felt overwhelmed and out of place. I know I'm different, but I can't figure out if my group has evolved into something unrecognizable, or if maybe its just me. We used to be crazy and loud and such, but it was somehow different. The feeling has changed. I know that much. The way it was a couple years ago, we were nuts, but there was a certain irony to it. We could do crazy things, but we could also look at ourselves doing these things and see how absurd we were.
Also, when the frivolity centred around Rob, Nick, Dane, Patrick and myself, there was a dynamic mix of personalities. We weren't all the same. It was a good mix. Today, Dane, Patrick and Rob rarely ever make it to anything because they're out of town, and even though Rob did make it to the party last night, he was barely a part of what was going on. The centre of the activity last night was comprised largely of people I don't really know who seemed to all be replicas of each other. At a point in the evening a sort of mob mentality began to take over. There was no real dynamic of personalities, it was just a glob of highschool level absurdity, and unlike me they didn't seem to recognize that's what it really was.
A huge part of the problem is that as my actual friends move away, others in the group bring people I don't know into the fold. Where I once had a reliable group of close friends that I had long, personal relationships with, I feel now I am left by chance with a small circle of people who haven't moved away who I didn't even really hang out with in highschool and their friends who I feel somewhat forced to spend time with.
Ok that is entirely too much angst this close to the birth of The Saviour, Our Lord, Jesus Christ. And by that I mean I hate Christmas, and that is probably I feel so awful. Damn stupid Christmas. I have to have three fucking Christmas dinners. Well one's a lunch, but still, all three are with people I also don't understand or fit in with. That seems to happen a lot.Keep on Tranglin,
Anthony
15 comments:
It could be worse, you could be David Soul.
I'm dreaming of an angst-y christmas....
i'm with ya anthony, for some reason I'm really not in the mood this year.
For christmas I mean.
meh to christmas.
It sounds pathetic, but all I want to do is go back to Glendon.
Home sucks.
you know, I felt the same way at the burns the other night. I didn't really know a lot of the people there and I didn't enjoy all the screaming that took place. Because that's all it was, screaming. There was no humor behind it, no talking or building of jokes, just screaming ones from SNL. I had to get out of there early. I wasn't even in the mood to drink, which I usually am. But it was good to see you, we should get together some time this week! Get your people to call my people, we'll work something out.
i supposed i am the exception then.
i love christmas, and i love spending time with my family.
... not because of jesus, or any of that "holiday magic" bullshit.
just because we do fun stuff together, and i get to give them presents!
i love giving presents.
i think the thing about my family and i is that we all just joke around together. i have more inside jokes with my brother than with all of my friends combined.
and i get to give them presents!
... you're welcome to come spend christmas here!
seriously. anytime between now and the end of time, just show up. you will be welcomed and certainly fed. that's something my mum and i have in common. we feed people.
Could be worse, could be raining.
And i'm not on your valued list. I'm very insulted.
Your year was much like mine.
In that it was 2005. That's where the similarity ends.
But your use of "et al" on Monkey's blog got me here, and that's gotta count for something.
Christmas was indeed something of a bust, not a total bust, but yeah.
Nick, it could have been worse. I could be you. Burn.
Knitty, I kinda feel like I skipped it, but it did indeed happen.
Nads (ha), I do enjoy your company, but I think I can live without school for another week or so.
Dianna, why don't your people call my people. You know how my people dislike to use the phone.
Rebecca, I don't mind christmas with my immediate family, despite not being very close with them. It's the awkward times with aunts and uncles and counsins and their other halves and such that I really don't like.
Brooke, it is in fact raining. It has rained, albeit lightly, for most of the day. The rule on the valued list is that you have to ask to be on it, and you have to request a number.
Spinning girl, Merry Christmas, et al.
Merry Xmas.
I tried leaving a message before (ie: on xmas day), but your blog wouldn't load...
I didn't know this rule. Why weren't the rules posted in a place where we could all see like I have in my classroom?
I would like to be on the list. And I would like to be 7.
boo to school, but yay to getting away from my family. it's been absolutely crazy here. and i love them and all, but only because i have to.
whoa, that's harsh man.
random family is awkward, because of the having to make small talk, but i manage to excuse myself to the kitchen to "prepare dinner".
and then snigger with my brother and sister.
and make cheese trays!
ps, my house in the 27th is where its at if you like cheese trays. with crackers, grapes, and veggies and dip. which i will delightfully prepare.
Most people are annoying.
That's why I stay home and become bitter and old.
Happy New Year.
yeah im being drug to Louisiana for a week. Im looking foward to shitting in a bucket and never seeing the internet again. Thats if i make it through arkansas. After you pass through the middle of the state it turns into the deliverence i swear. Oh and i would like to be number 49 please.
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