Alcoholism? Just maybe...

So I started looking for a job. I don't really know what to feel about it. I don't particularly feel up to working, but if I want to go to school next year I don't have much of a choice. Best-case scenario for me would be institutionalization. I'd really like to either be in a hospital or asylum type setting where I'm only semi-conscious and have no worries. I could do that for a good eternity or so. Perhaps I could strike a deal with God to go to Limbo. I could spend eternity floating in semi-existence with all the un-baptized babies. I don't much like newborns, but I don't think you really have consciousness in Limbo.

It's incredibly hot in my house. We have air-conditioning, but my father being the Portuguese man he is probably wont turn it on until it's too hot to literally breathe. He must have something to prove about his manhood or something. Perhaps in Portugal there is a connection between how much heat you can stand and the supposed size of your penis, because it seems like every Portuguese man I know hates their air-conditioner. If it wasn't for his heart condition I'd slap him and say "People with heart conditions have a low tolerance for heat and poor air quality, you bastard!" So really I guess I'm just going to let the heat kill him instead of me.

I think I may spend the night in the basement with a whole lot of liquor. That or I'll spend the night in the bathtub with a whole lot of liquor. The basement seems like the safer bet. Less chance of drowning. I've just now made the conscious decision to become an alcoholic. Alcoholics, while they may lose their family, friends and all chance of a happy life, always have the comfort of liquor to escape to. Really if I'm so miserable it's about time that I start self-medicating, especially considering the real medication I have seems to be completely useless. I can already feel the love and compassion that liquor has for me. I barely ever drink and I already know that booze is like a warm blanket (or a cool blanket when it's hot) that has the ability to say "I love you, you're important." So if you're reading this, this is your official notice that I no longer value our relationship because now all I have and need is alcohol.

If you'd like to join me in becoming an alcoholic, let me know. If you're too young to buy booze I can supply. However don't plan on having some sort of drunken friendship. I just need someone to be my co-bum. Homeless people always travel in twos. I'm not going to have friends anymore, alcohol just seems a lot simpler. So the plan is to automatically reach for a drink anytime I have any negative feeling. I think I can replace all suicidal thoughts with alcoholic ones within a week. Yay reprogramming my broken brain!
All I need to do now is decide if I want to go out in flames or fade away slowly...

Keep on Trangling,
Anthony Pereira

P.S. I'll leave you with a toon Nick modified to look like me. The best part is how utterly at the end of the line I look. How accurate. Good jorb Nick.